Draco and Hermione Watch AVPM
by potato4
Summary: One night, Draco, Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Blaise watch A Very Potter Musical. How do they react? What will Merridew do when she finds out? And what happens when Ginny and Blaise are nosier than ever? SEQUEL TO DRACO AND HERMIONE READ FANFICTION!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer- I, in no way, shape, or form, own Harry Potter or A Very Potter Musical, or YouTube. I want to make this completely clear. I AM IN NO WAY INVOLVED IN THE OWNERSHIP OF A VERY POTTER MUSICAL! Thank you.

A/N- Hello DHRFF readers! I will be referring to this fic as DHWA. IT IS THE SEQUEL TO DRACO AND HERMIONE READ FANFICTION, GO READ THAT FIRST! Please.

Anyway, I decided to combine the three ideas I was stuck in between into one story. In case you were interested, I came up with the plot while listening to Paparazzi by Lady Gaga and reading… guess what?... fanfiction!

Um, if you haven't watched AVPM (a very potter musical) there is a likely chance you will not understand certain parts of this fic. I will try to explain the scenes as they are playing, but I don't want any legal trouble… so go watch it, okay? It's totally awesome!

This fic is not based purely upon AVPM. It will have other things, but it will be mostly AVPM. Like I said, if you haven't watched it and can't, then I will explain it as we go along. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me or put it in a review.

So, along to the chapter!

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Prologue

Hermione fluffed up the pillows on the couch again, gazing at the door impatiently. Where were they? She walked up to the fire and poked it with the iron rod, making sure to keep the flames blazing, then remembered that it was a magical fire and immediately felt stupid.

One of the three doors to the room opened, and Draco stepped out. Hermione looked disappointed that it was only him. He looked at his anxious girlfriend and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Hermione looked like she was caught in an act of wrongdoing. She crossed her legs and bit her lip. "Well…"

"What did you do?"

"I… er… invited Harry, Ginny, and Ron over tonight." She flinched slightly, waiting for his response.

"You WHAT?" Draco shouted.

"Hey! It's Friday night, I just wanted to spend time with my friends." Hermione said defensively.

"Did you bother to think that your boyfriend, who did nothing to deserve this, mind you, would be stuck in a room with four bloody GRYFFINDORS for a couple of hours?" Draco gestured at the dorm that they shared.

Roughly a month after Hermione and Draco got together, the Head Boy and Girl in the real seventh year got involved in some… inappropriate activities. So Professor McGonagall saw it fit to assign two new Heads from the 'eighth' year. And those two happened to be Hermione and Draco.

"Draco! Please… I don't get to see them that often anymore." Hermione whined, giving him those puppy dog eyes that convinced him to write their first fanfiction, and possibly a sequel.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Fine- but you know what? I'm inviting Blaise over."

Hermione nodded. "Sure, whatever. As long as it's not Pansy."

Draco looked disgusted. "I would call her a pug dog, but that would be an insult to puppies everywhere." Hermione laughed, and Draco left to go email Blaise. Ever since the introduction of Hogmail, Draco had surprisingly become quite competent in all things Muggle. He just conveniently forgot to mention this to his pureblood parents.

Just then, the door to the Head's dorm swung open, revealing Hermione's three friends. "Oh, hey, come in!" she said with a grin.

Ron oogled (A/N- I know, not a word, but I love it!) at her dorm. She had to admit, it was a nice place. Fancy furniture, paintings and decorations. "Love it, Hermione." He said. The two of them made amends after the winter ball, both admitting that they had done wrong to the other, and just went back to being friends.

"Where's Drakie?" Ginny teased. Hermione blushed. "He went to invite Blaise."

"Seriously?" Harry whined. "Another Slytherin?"

"Shut up. It was the only way I could get him to agree to let you come over."

"You guys are like a married couple already!" Ginny said. She plopped herself down on the couch and opened her bag. From inside it, she pulled her laptop and turned it on. "One sec, I need to check my em-"

"Ooo let me see that!" Harry snatched the laptop out of Ginny's hands. At the end of their Muggle Studies project, Professor Merridew took back their laptops for the next class. Ginny and Ron had sent home for some, which Mr. Weasley had enthusiastically provided. Hermione had one from home too, and Draco had offered Merridew an offer she couldn't refuse for a class one. Harry was the only one without a computer, and he was dying to get back on it.

"It's nice to know that a computer matters more to you than I do." Hermione muttered as Ron sat down next to Harry. It was then that the dorm door swung open again, revealing Blaise Zabini. Upon hearing this, Draco came out from his room, sending Ron and Harry scathing looks.

"And they have arrived!" hissed Ron.

"I'm not deaf, Weasel." Draco said. "I heard you."

Blaise frowned at Harry and Ron. "Draco, did you 'forget' to mention that they were going to be here?"

Draco looked sheepish. "Hey mate, I needed mental support."

"Draco, you've needed mental support for a long time now." Blaise said, rolling his eyes and sitting down on the couch.

"Hear, hear!" agreed Ron.

"Shut up." Draco said. Then he looked smug. "I'll have you know that four reviewers thought that Hermione and my kid's will look better than yours!"

Harry looked surprised. "Hermione's pregnant?"

"No!" Hermione blushed furiously. "He meant if we ever have kids in the future!"

"To avoid continuing this conversation because I'm afraid of where it will go, I am going to change the subject!" Ginny said. "Um… what are you doing there, Harry?"

"YouTube." Harry said simply.

"Ah yes, my boyfriend's little haven."

Hermione nodded in agreement. "Same here. What do you do on there anyway?" she asked Draco, who immediately turned a nervous red.

"Nothing! Nothing…"

Hermione looked skeptical. "Sure… nothing…"

Harry spoke up, still looking at the computer screen. "Hey Malfoy, what was the name of that song?"

Draco frowned. "What song?"

Ron grinned. "You know… the one you sang for your precious Hermione at the dance!"

Draco stammered. "I… I don't remember." It was an obvious lie.

Blaise smiled. "I do! It was called 'Granger Danger'."

"Yeah, she _can_ be dangerous." Ginny mused.

Ron laughed at whatever was on Harry's screen. "Ha! I love your new look, Malfoy!" Draco stood up sharply and leaned over, checking out the screen.

"Hey! No, no, let's watch something else."

"Wait a second!" Harry said, leaning the computer away from Draco's reach. "There's a whole play where this came from!"

Ginny and Blaise shared a devious smile. "Oh yeah… I remember that…" Blaise mentioned.

"Really?" Hermione was curious. "A whole play?"

"_A Very Potter Musical,_" read Harry. "Let's watch it!"

"No!" Draco groaned. "Not something that's _very Potter_… and a musical… and I'm played by a girl!"

"Suck it up, Draco." Hermione said, nudging him on the arm.

"You know, you are such a _supportive girlfriend_." Draco said sarcastically.

"You love me for it."

"I am now going to interrupt this lovey-dovey moment." Ginny announced. "C'mon Harry! Let's watch it."

"Well, alright then." He scrolled down to Act 1, Part 1, and clicked the play button. Music began to play.

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A/N- Dun dun dun! Don't worry, the whole thing won't be about them watching it. There'll be other parts too, other little plots, you'll see… The other chapters will be longer too. This one was really short.

(PS Special thanks to a reviewer name knowitall who introduced me to a song called Lumos Flies. I have it on my iPod now!)

Please review!


	2. Act 1, Parts 1 Through 3

A/N- I'm so sorry for the slow update! These chapters are hard to write…

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter. I also do not own "A Very Potter Musical." I included quotes and descriptions of the musical. ALL QUOTES ARE IN ITALICS. I do not own it, StarKid does. Okay? Okay.

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Act 1, Parts 1-3

The screen was black at first, then in faded a disclaimer, and a lion wearing a wizard hat jumping over the word "Starkid". Finally, up popped "A Very Potter Musical".

"I question: _what_ are we watching?" Draco said.

"Shut up, I'm on screen… ooo, and I look good." Harry said. Screen Harry had curly hair and was slightly taller. He wasn't fat at all, but he was just slightly chubbier than real Harry.

"If I wasn't dating you, I would totally date you." Ginny said. "Wait- that doesn't make sense…"

Suddenly, screen Harry started to sing. Draco sniggered. "Love your voice, Potter."

_Underneath these stairs I hear the snares and feel the glares of my cousin, my uncle, and my aunt… _

The song went on to describe how it was back- to- school time and Harry was glad to leave.

Harry grinned. "Damn right I'm skipping that town."

"Were they that bad?" Blaise asked.

"I lived in a cupboard."

"And I wish they had kept you there." Draco muttered.

_Yeah, and it's gonna be totally awesome! Did somebody say Ron Weasley?_

"Oh, yeah!" Ron whooped as he appeared on set. "I look awesome."

They watched for a little more when Hermione interrupted. "What's with all the 'totally awesome's'?"

"Some American term." Ginny said. "Shush, I'm watching."

Screen Ron and Harry suddenly jerked forward, and a familiar bushy- haired girl appeared from behind. _But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class if we want to pass our OWLs! _

"Typical Hermione." Ron and Harry said with a laugh.

"I don't like play-Hermione." Draco mused. "She's not nearly as hot as the real one." Hermione blushed and playfully smacked his arm. The next line from the play agreed with what Draco said.

Screen Hermione smiled. _This year I plan to study a lot._ Screen Ron: _That would be cool if you were actually hot._ Screen Harry: _Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got! _

Ginny snickered. "You are so insensitive Ron. They portrayed your character perfectly."

"Shove it Ginny."

The rest of the scene consisted of them singing the rest of the Hogwarts song. When it ended, they all leaned back against the couch.

"Well…" Blaise said.

"That was weird." Draco offered.

Harry laughed. "No really?"

"Enough discussion! Next part! I want to see where I come in." Ginny said.

"Of course you do." Draco said as Harry pressed the play button. Immediately, a whiny voice came on.

"Oh, don't tell me that's me." Ginny said. The girl on screen was wearing an obvious synthetic red wig and had a whiny voice, as well as yellow ballet flats.

Screen Harry looked at screen Ginny. _Who's this? _

Ginny groaned. "Oh, great, so my own boyfriend doesn't even know who I am."

Screen Ron answered. _Oh, this is stupid little dumb sister Ginny. _

Ginny snapped her fingers. "Oh no you didn't."

"Shut up, Weasley, I want to watch your brother diss you more." Draco said.

Blaise looked amused. "Diss?"

"What? YouTube teaches you a lot." Draco said.

Screen Ginny looked amazed at Harry. _Oh- you're Harry Potter! You're the boy who lived! _

"Come on, I would not be that amazed to see you." Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"If I remember correctly, however, you gaped at him like an elephant in the zoo in first year." Hermione said with a grin.

"Quiet! That was five years ago."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Hermione turned her attention back to the musical, where Chinese music was playing.

Three girls entered onstage, an Asian one in front.

_Cho Chang, domo arigato, Cho Chang, you're okay, fat Choy Chang, Happy Happy New Year Cho Chang! _

The six burst into laughter. Harry had to pause the video. "Wait… I have to email that to her." Harry opened up his hogmail and began to email Cho.

"Hey- you have Cho's email?" Ginny said suspiously.

"So?" Harry said. "We're friends."

"Yeah, and it better not get any farther than that."

Harry sent his email.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

To: ChangGirl

From: ISurvived

Subject: Watch This

…video! It's from a musical. Your theme music rocks.

(Link)

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"Okay, let's keep watching." Ron said impatiently. He pressed the play button again.

Screen Ginny walked up to screen Cho. _Konichiwa Cho Chang. It is good to meet you. I am Ginny Weasley._

Screen Cho looked upset. _Bi*ch I ain't Cho Chang!_

Screen Ron grabbed screen Ginny. _That's Lavender Brown! ~Slaps her~ Racist, sister!_

Ginny put her hands on her hips. "I am not liking this play."

"I am!" Draco said.

Screen Harry looked dreamily at screen Cho_. She is so perfect._

Screen Ron: _Yeah, too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory._

Screen Harry: _What? Who is that guy? Who's he?_

Suddenly, screen Cedric burst onto stage.

_Cho Chang! I am so in love with Cho Chang! From Bankgok to ding dang! I'll sing my love aloud for Cho Chang!_

"If it weren't for the fact that guy died, I would be laughing so hard right now." Blaise said.

"Yeah." Agreed Ron.

Next, screen Neville came on screen and screen Crabbe and Goyle began to bully him. Screen Harry stood up for him.

"Aw, wittle Potter's such a big hero," teased Draco. "At least they got Goyle right."

Screen Hermione helped Harry. She repaired his glasses. _Now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone._

They were about to go offstage when a higher pitched british voice came from the left. _Did somebody say Draco Malfoy?_ Screen Draco was obviously a girl, with a fake wig and diamond earrings. She walked on screen and held both of her hands out at her sides.

Now they definitely had to pause the video. Harry was laughing so hard his face was red, Ron was rolling on the floor, Ginny was leaning over and clutching her stomach, and Blaise was sniggering loudly. Hermione looked as if she was trying her hardest not to laugh, then failed. Draco crossed his arms and sunk lower in his seat, brow furrowed. "It's not funny."

Hermione gasped in between peals of laughter, and grabbed her boyfriend's arm. "O-of course it's no-not, Draco."

What seemed to be an enternity later, they finished laughing and turned the video back on.

After a little conversation, screen Draco turned to screen Ginny. _Wait- don't tell me. Red hair, hand-me-down clothes, and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley._

Screen Ron looked angry. _Oh my God Malfoy, lay off. She may be a pain in the arse, okay? But she's my pain in the arse._

"Okay, what is with everyone hating me in this thing?" Ginny asked, throwing her hands up.

"I don't hate you." Harry said, a soft look on his face.

"Cut the crap, Harry." Ginny said. "Aw, but it's sweet anyway." She pecked him on the lips.

"Okay! Let's just keep watching." Ron said, a bit red in the face.

The 'Golden Trio' and Ginny then left the screen, leaving screen Malfoy to himself. _Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. Luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts! _

_This year you better get out of here. The reign of Malfoy is drawing near. I'll have the greatest wizard career. It's gonna be totally awesome! _

Again, the five others broke out into laughter. "Can't we get enough, already?" Draco complained. "Alright. I have and obviously fake British accent and a girl. So what?"

_Look out world for the dawn of the day. When everyone will do- whatever I say! And Potter won't be in my way, and then I'll be the one who is totally awesome. _

Screen Goyle looked at him. YEAH YOU'LL BE THE ONE WHO IS TOTALLY AWESOME!

The next part went on as a continuation of the first song about going back to Hogwarts.

Then screen Dumbledore came on, throwing flowers. _Weeeeeeeeeelcooooooome! _

"Oh, this is too good." Blaise said. Dumbledore had a fake beard and was wearing sandals. He had a Boston sort of accent. The rest were laughing again.

The last part of the scene was just the song, then it ended.

"Next part! Next part!" Ron chanted.

"No, no, no. Let's just go to this video!" Draco tried maneuver on Harry's mousepad, but he jerked it away.

"No! We're watching this."

"You're only happy because you look good." Draco grumbled, but allowed Harry to start the next part.

Screen Dumbledore was giving his start of year speech. _And another special welcome to our newest addition to Gryffindor- Mr. Ginny, excuse me, Ms. Ginny Weasley. _Screen Ginny frowned. _Yeah, I'm a girl._

"Are you serious! Even Dumbledore has something bad to say about me!" Ginny exclaimed in exasperation. "I'm with Malfoy now- let's watch something else."

"No!" Hermione said. "I want to watch it."

Screen Cedric stood up. _Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!_ Screen Dumbledore smiled. _What the hell is a Hufflepuff?_

Draco grinned. "I like Dumbledore!"

Then, Snape came on screen. His hair was long, eyes wide, and voice drawling. He gave them a pop quiz and took points from Gryffindor.

"They did Snape well." Blaise said.

Then Professor Quirrell came on screen. He had another person walking behind him, obviously Voldemort. Screen Draco yelled: _Go home terrorist!_

"Nice one, mate." Blaise nudged his friend.

Screen Quirrell went on to explain the house tournament, when screen Hermione interrupted. Screen Dumbledore looked angry. _Hermione Granger, shut your ungodly, lopsided mouth and quit interrupted! Twenty more points._

"My mouth is not lopsided!" Hermione said indignantly.

Draco studied it. "I don't know, it could be…"

"It is not!"

"I still don't know, let me check." Draco leaned in and kissed her.

Ron looked embarrassed. He still hadn't gotten used to them as a couple. "Hey, hey, break it up!"

Draco stepped back, smirking. "Nope! It's not lopsided."

Next on screen, screen Snape picked house champions. Cedric, Cho, Draco, and Harry were chosen. Screen Draco strutted across the stage, leaned across Harry's lap, and rolled off of him. _I'm the champion this time!_

"What did you just do?" asked Ron, staring at the screen with a weird look on his face.

Draco didn't even answer. He just shook his head as the scene ended.

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A/N- So, what did you think? I'm not going to go into as much detail for the rest of it, just little parts here and there. THIS WHOLE FIC IS NOT GOING TO BE JUST THEM WATCHING IT. There's more to it. It's just going to be long. And updates are going to be slow, because I have to watch the play as I'm going and stuff.

Some people have been asking me if I can read/review their fics. If you have one (preferably Dramione) that you want me to read/review, then put the title and what kind of feedback you want in a review and I will gladly read it. :)

Just so you know, the sequel to "I Have No Idea" is up on my friend's profile: potatofanaticwriter3. I didn't write it, she did, I edited. I will be writing the third part in the series and posting that soon. :)

Please review and GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS on things to do with this fic. Thanks!

~Potato


	3. Act 1, Parts 4 Through 6

A/N- I know about the lyric mess-up on Cho's song in the last chapter! It was my slip of the fingers on the keyboard, I overlooked it. Oops. OMG- THANK YOU for all the reviews! I am freaking out! Wow! That's the most I've ever gotten for two chapters!

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any other reference made in this fic. I DO NOT OWN "A Very Potter Musical" at all. That belongs to StarKid.

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Act 1, Parts 4-6

"So, onto Part 4, then?" Harry asked. Ginny pressed the play button, revealing screen Ron and Harry on a bench, with screen Hermione pacing.

They were talking about the house tournament. Screen Hermione looked worried. _I don't know Harry, I mean-_ Screen Ron interrupted her. _Oh my God, Hermione- Shut. Up. _

Ginny giggled. "And that's why Ron can't get a girl."

Screen Hermione continued. _You're not invincible, Harry, somebody died in this tournament_. Screen Harry waved her off. _Uh, I'm the boy that lived, not died! _

"Wow, you are so self- centered, Potter." Draco said, happy that he wasn't in this scene. Harry turned on him. "You're one to talk, you arrogant ferret."

"What is with the ferret insult? It was three years ago, drop it!"

"Once you stop calling me 'Potty the Great: The Boy Who Just Wouldn't Die'."

For the next minute or so, Draco and Harry argued while screen Hermione and screen Harry went on about the dangers of the House tournament.

"Wow, Hermione, they sure got your nagging side right on the spot." Ron commented, which earned him a slap.

Screen Harry then agreed to drop out of the tournament for his own safety. Screen Ron looked upset. _Wait- wait- WHAT? The house cup? What about all the eternal glory you'd win?_ Come on! Screen Harry pointed to screen Ron. _Hey- eternal glory? I've already got that._

Draco coughed slightly. "Ahem- conceited- ahem."

Screen Harry continued. _Besides, Neville will be a great champion!_ Screen Ron stood up. _No, no, I do not want Schlongbottom to be my champion._

Blaise nodded. "I agree with him on that one."

Next, screen Hermione went up to Dumbledore to tell him that Harry would not be competing. Screen Hermione was trying to argue her point. _I even think Snape might be trying to kill Harry!_ Screen Dumbledore looked mad. _Severus Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest men I have ever met. _

"So the rumors were true!" Ginny whispered. "He was gay!"

"Yeah, but not with Snape." Harry said.

The conversation between screen Hermione and Dumbledore ended in Harry having to compete in the tournament after all. The trio began to talk on the bench when screen Goyle walked in, holding Draco bridal style.

"Oh God." Draco moaned. "Here we go again."

Screen Goyle dropped Draco, who immediately fell and began to roll on the floor.

"Is that your thing or something?" asked Harry.

Screen Draco rolled over to the trio. Goyle and I have a bet you know. He says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I disagree- I say you won't last five minutes… at Pigfarts!

"What's Pigfarts?" asked Harry. Draco just shook his head.

Coincidentally, the next thing screen Harry said was: _What? What- alright, Malfoy what is Pigfarts?_ Screen Malfoy rolled onto a bench. _Oh? Never heard of it? Huh- figures. Famous Potter doesn't even know about Pigfarts. _

"So, is that like your way to pick up girls?" Ron questioned. "Because it doesn't look like it's working."

Screen Harry was tired of it. _What is Pigfarts?_ Screen Draco looked off into the distance. _Pigfarts is only the greatest wizarding school in the galaxy. It's where I'm being transferred next year._ Screen Hermione looked skeptical. _Malfoy, I've never heard of that. _Screen Draco stood up. _That's because Pigfarts… is on Maaaars._

Blaise was laughing hard. "So, Hermione, how does it feel to know you're dating him?" he asked.

Hermione was too busy stifling giggles to answer.

Then the screen trio began talking about Dumbledore. Screen Draco interrupted. Dumbledore? _What an old coot. He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar is the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion- who can talk. _

The conversation went on, then screen Harry suggested Draco go to Pigfarts. Screen Draco got up. _Oh, now you're just being cute. I can't go to Pigfarts- it's on Mars. You need a rocketship. Do you have a rocketship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. _

"Psh," Draco said. "If I wanted a rocketship, I could snap my fingers and I would have four."

Ron's eyes widened. "Well Hermione, you have a snobby boyfriend, but a rich one."

Ginny grinned. "I'm going to envy your engagement ring."

Now it was Draco's turn to widen his eyes. "Who said anything about an engagement?"

Hermione nudged him. "Weren't we just talking about babies with them awhile ago? Didn't you know we were serious?" she teased.

Draco's eyes looked ready to pop. "Let's just go back to watching me roll on the floor."

Screen Draco rolled onto the floor. _Look at this! Look at this- look it! Rocketship Potter! Moooonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts._ Screen Harry got up, looking mad, and began to defend himself. Screen Draco ran away and hooked himself on a bench. _Oh, not so tough now, are you Potter? Maybe you should hang out with someone better than that lollygagging ginger and his stupid Mudblood girlfriend. _

"Ahem," Blaise said. "Awkward…"

Then screen Hermione got up and held her wand at screen Draco's neck. He began to talk in a high-pitched voice and seemed afraid. _Come on, Harry, Ron, let's get out of here._ Screen Ron seemed surprised. _Wow, that was like the most badass thing I've ever seen. Too bad no one was here to see it though, it was like and outburst of pent-up aggression, it was like arrrgh Hermione!_

"You know…" said Harry. "That was a lot like third year."

"Oh, please don't bring that up again." Draco said.

"You're just embarrassed you got beat up by a girl." Hermione said with a grin.

The last part of the scene was screen Draco saying. _Come on, let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place._

"What's wizards of Waverly Place?" asked Blaise.

"I don't know," said Draco. "Google it."

"Nah, I want to see more of Malfoy on the floor." Harry said eagerly, clicking on part 5.

The screen opened up to Quirrell talking to himself. Suddenly, he pulled the turban off of his head, revealing Voldemort on the back.

"Wow… Voldemort is hot." Ginny said. The others gave her a weird look. "What? You can kind of tell…"

"No, I think Quirrell's cuter." Hermione said.

Draco looked indignant. "What about me?"

Hermione patted his leg. "Draco, you're a girl."

"Whatever," he grumbled, focusing back on the screen.

Quirrell and Voldemort had a conversation about how they were going to take over the world. They had a couple arguments, and settled in for bed.

"Wow… if the real Voldemort was like that, I would have had a hell of an easier time killing him," Harry said. "He's worried about the laundry."

"Wait- wait… they're about to sing!" Ginny exclaimed.

Sure enough, a moment later, Voldemort and Quirrell began a duet about how different they were.

And it had the group in hysterics. "That… that… was so… I don't even have the words for it!" Ron exclaimed. "If only that were real… we could have had a sing-off instead of the Hogwarts battle!" The others chuckled.

"Well- onto the next!" Even Blaise encouraged. Harry nodded, and clicked on the next part.

Screen Harry was in the Gryffindor common room, playing his guitar. Hermione was next to him, writing something. She began to reprimand him about preparing for the tournament. Screen Harry stopped playing. _Well, can't you just do it for me? Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me? I mean, what are you doing right now?_ Screen Hermione looked up. I'm writing your potions essay. Screen Harry: _Oh, well do that first, because that's due tomorrow. _

"Oh, that reminds me," said Ron, looking at Hermione. "Did you finish my Transfiguration project yet? It's due Tuesday."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron, I said I'd help."

"Which always means you'll do it for me!"

Hermione ignored him and kept watching the play. Screen Harry called over Ginny and asked her if she'd listen to a song he wrote for a girl he liked. _Just for the purposes of now, because I'm still working out the lyrics, I'll put your name where her name should be, but I don't think it's really going to work out because, well, lemme just give it a shot. _

_You're tall and fun and pretty, you're really really skinny_

_Ginny…_

_I'm the Mickey to your Minnie, you're the Tigger to my Winnie_

_Ginny…_

_I wanna take you to the city, gonna take you out to dinny_

_Ginny…_

_You're cuter than a guinea pig, wanna take you up to Winnipeg- THAT'S in Canada!_

_Ginny Ginny Gin- you know what, it doesn't work with your name. At all. It doesn't work._

"Oh, that's nice," Ginny said. "Wow."

"Aw, come on Gin," Harry said. "Didn't you hear the song? You're really skinny!"

"Whatever."

Just then, screen Harry called Cho 'supermegafoxyawesomehot'.

"This is not helping my situation…" Harry grumbled.

"So Potter never got over Chang?" Draco said. "Figures…"

"Draco, shut up and keep watching." Hermione said.

Screen Ron entered the scene and sat down next to Harry, telling him that he heard about cages being brought into Hogwarts. Screen Hermione tried to insist that they go find out what it was, but Harry was too busy on his guitar. So she took it away. Immediately, screen Ron and Ginny freaked out. _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!_

"Mental note to self: Never take guitar from Harry Potter." Blaise said.

Screen Ron and Hermione fought over whether or not to leave and find the cages. Screen Ron shrugged. _So what are we going to do? _Screen Hermione lowered her voice. _It's simple guys- the cloak._ Suddenly all four students stood up and said in unison: _Of course- the cloak._ Screen Ginny looked confused. _Wait- what cloak?_

"You mean you didn't even tell me about the cloak?" Ginny asked. She shook her head.

Screen Harry stood up. _When I was a little boy at Hogwarts, I got a present left to me- oh, bye Neville- I got a present left to me at my first year at Hogwarts. And, uh, it was left to me by my dad. My dad that's dead. My father's dead. I have a dead father._ He pulled out his invisibility cloak.

Then the four shared how they would use an invisibility cloak. Screen Ginny tried to follow them out of the common room, but screen Ron pushed her back. _Besides- there's only room under this cloak for two people. So, uh… come on, Hermione, come on. _

"You are such a great big brother." Ginny said.

"Shh! Ron exclaimed. "I think you're going to sing!"

Ginny groaned. "And my day gets even better!"

Sure enough, screen Ginny began her song.

_The way his hair falls in his eyes, makes me wonder if he'll _

_Ever see through my disguise- and I'm under his spell._

_Everything is falling, and I don't know where to land_

_Everyone knows who he is, but they don't know who I am_

_Harry, Harry, why can't you see? What you're doing to me_

_I've seen you conquer certain death_

_And even when you're just standing there, you take away my breath!_

_And maybe someday you'll hear my song and understand that all along_

_There's something that I'm trying to say_

_When I say_

_Harry, Harry, why can't you see, what you're doing to me_

"Aww…" Hermione said. "Harry, you're such a self-absorbed, ignorant git! Look at her!"

"Excuse me? That's not me. That's someone attempting to be me." Harry corrected. "I love Ginny." Ginny smiled.

"Aw… that would almost be cute- if you hadn't just ditched me to go see some cages." Ginny said, smirking slightly, and moving to go to the next scene.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N- Hope you liked that chapter! Do you see my pretty new avatar? That was made by xxxreallyNOTokxxx. Thank you to her, she was so nice! I never expected fanart! Cool! Go check out her fic, it's a Dramione, and looking very good. :)

Guess what? I got my first bad review on DHRFF! It wasn't a flame, but it wasn't nice either. Go check it out. Okay… so it sounds like I'm excited about it, but I've just been getting all these nice reviews, but this person just told me she didn't like it and that it was too ooc and completely unrealistic and… yeah. Which it sort of was. It's a humor, come on!

So… I was thinking of possibly getting a beta. I don't know if I should? Could someone tell me more about it and how it works? I don't think I want a beta for this fic, just because of how it's being written, but I think I want one for Lord Voldemort: Matchmaker, Dark Steps, and/or the sequel to Prisoner Unleashed (which is coming soon). So tell me about that, give me advice, and tell me if you want to beta! My ONE requirement: I need someone FAST!

Thank you! Now REVIEW please!


	4. Perform It?

A/N- Okay, so we will be moving on from just watching YouTube today! I had to, however, include part 7 because it has one of my favorite lines in it. :)

Disclaimer- Okay, I have finally won ownership of Harry Potter as well as "A Very Potter Musical". I won the lottery and got my own laptop. Oh, and then I woke up. :D

No, I DO NOT own Harry Potter, A Very Potter Musical, hundreds of millions of dollars, or (sadly) my own laptop.

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Part seven started with Quirrell and Voldemort alking about going out to the Hog's Head for some fun.

Then it changed to screen Harry, Ron, and Hermione under the invisibility cloak, investigating. Screen Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle entered as well. Then Draco spoke. _Tell me Goyle, who do you think is the ugliest girl in school?_ Goyle thought. _Oh- Buckbeak, for sure._ Then he asked Crabbe, who answered straight away. _Winky the house elf. _Draco walked across the stage. _You know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger. _

"Oh, do you now?" Hermione asked.

"No! What is with you girls, thinking that it's actually us talking up there?" Draco asked. Harry nodded in agreement.

Screen Draco kept talking. _You know what I'd give her, on a scale of one to ten, one, one would be the ugliest, and ten would be quite pretty. I would give her… and eight… an eight-point-five… or a nine. But NOT, not over a nine-point-eight, because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone's perfect, like me, that's why I'm holding out for a ten- because I'm worth it._ Then they left.

The others were laughing, all for various reasons.

"It's so obvious you like her, Draco." Blaise said.

"You are so not worth a ten." Harry laughed.

"I_ love_ your facial expression." Hermione said.

"Yeah, it's just- oh no." Ginny said. She stopped laughing.

"What?" Ron asked.

She pointed to the time. "It's eight- and if we're out of bed after eight-thirty, McGonagall will kill us. Remember the new rules ever since those first years set off a dung bomb in twenty different classrooms that one night?"

"Oh. that's right, curfew was cut short. And I didn't bring my cloak." Harry said. "We have to go. See you tomorrow at Muggle Studies."

"Okay- bye!" Hermione said, watching as her three friends left.

Blaise shrugged. "I don't give a damn about curfew, but I am not about to stay here with you two. Bye!" And with that, he left as well.

Hermione watched the portrait swing close, then snuggled up to Draco. "Do you really think I'm ugly?"

"No- I gave you a nine-point-eight, remember?" he smirked.

She smiled as well, then stood up. "Well, I don't believe you!" Then she walked away to her bedroom, swaying her hips slightly.

Draco just kept smirking, shaking his head.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"And that will conclude our Muggle sports lesson!" Professor Merridew was at the front of the class, supporting a very broken-looking Neville, who had been hit one too many times by Crabbe's hockey stick. "You can all have a free period while I take Mr Longbottom to the hospital wing."

Immediately, the group of six who had met the night before rushed together in front of a class computer. Several students stared at the unlikely sextet. "Part eight?" Harry asked. The others nodded, but before he could even open up Safari, a high-pitched voice interrupted them.

"Draco? What are you doing here?" Six heads swung around. It was Pansy.

"Well," Draco started, in a tone one would use with a five-year-old, "Hermione is my girlfriend."

Pansy sniffed at this, and flipped her hair slightly. "I'm aware of that. But that's Potter. And Weasley."

"I don't see why you're complaining. If I recall correctly, you were the one snogging him at the winter dance."

Pansy's mouth opened slightly, then closed. She bit her lip, turned, and walked away.

"That was… weird." Harry said.

"Whatever- ignore her. Just put on the play." Hermione said. Harry had pressed play and the pictures started moving when the Muggle Studies door swung open again, and Professor Merridew walked in and stood in front of the class.

"Okay, so when I was walking back here, I had the best idea for a new-" she was interrupted by a chorus of laughter from the group in the corner, who hadn't heard her come back in. She gave them a curious look and walked up. "Hello."

The group jumped, and Harry quickly pressed pause. "Hello Professor."

"What're you watching here?" she asked, squeezing between Ron and Harry. "A… Very Potter Musical? What's that?"

"It's just… a play." Ginny said.

"Is it really? And you find it humorous?"

"Yeah…" Blaise said slowly, wondering where she was going with the question.

"Well, first FanFiction and now this! Mr Potter, can you email me the link to this play? I think it fits perfectly with my next lesson plan that I thought up. You see, I thought our class could do a Muggle play."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"I don't get it! I do- not- get- it!" Draco said, punctuating each word with a punch at a couch pillow in the Head Dorm. "There is no way I am doing that play!"

"Draco," Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from another punch. "There's no saying we're going to do it."

"You heard Merridew. And once she has her mind set on something, she doesn't give up."

"Well…" Hermione giggled. "You already sang that song in front of half the school already, so what's the pain in doing it a second time?"

"Uh… I don't know? Besides the fact I act like I'm gay?" Draco said sarcastically.

"You are not- okay, fine," she agreed. "But you can just audition for a different part."

"And what- let someone play all of this?" he gestured at his face. "I think not."

"Then why are you complaining?" Hermione asked.

"I just am! I don't want to- mph!" He was cut off by Hermione stepping on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to his. A moment later, she stepped back and smirked.

"Shut up."

Draco was about to lean down for another when the portrait swung open and a flustered looking Ginny rushed in. "Look at this!" she stuffed a piece of paper into Hermione's face.

"Wha- Ginny, what is this?" Hermione asked, uncrumpling it.

Ginny groaned. "Just read it."

_SEVENTH YEAR PLAY ANNOUNCEMENT_

_Professor Merridew's seventh year class for Muggle Studies will be doing a performance of the YouTube hit, "A Very Potter Musical". All students will be part of the performance, and auditions will be held on Wednesday during class. _

_THERE ARE NO OBJECTIONS _

_Thank you,_

_Professor C. Merridew_

"Oh, sh…"

"No no no!" Hermione cut Draco off. "I didn't think she was serious about the play!"

Ginny "Well you better believe it. Because we're performing it."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N- Yeah, I know, it was really short. Sorry, but I needed it in here.

Just so you know, they won't be performing the exact Very Potter Musical. I have a different idea.

This fic isn't going to be very long either. Sorry! :)

Go check out my new poll and I posted the sequel to "Prisoner".

REVIEW IF YOU WANT NEXT CHAPTER!


	5. Auditions

A/N- I'm baaaaaaaack! *Six second party* Yay! New chapter!

WHO LOVED 'A VERY POTTER SEQUEL'? I DID! Beyond awesome.

Here's a new chapter, please enjoy!

Disclaimer- I, in NO way whatsoever, own Harry Potter or 'A Very Potter Musical' 'A Very Potter Sequel' Starkid or StarkidPotter, the song 'Not Alone' or anything else affiliated with the aforementioned things. Thank you.

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Chapter Five- Auditions

The students trickling into the empty hall the next morning all looked less than happy, none of them too excited for play auditions. With the exception, of course, of Luna, who had taken advantage of the no-uniform pass they got for the audition, and donned all tie-dye.

"What about… Seamus? He's got the dark hair," Harry whispered to Ron, who shook his head.

"Look at him- he's the size of a twig! Plus, he has an Irish accent."

Hermione sighed. "Harry, it's no use, you're going to get the part of you. There is no other Harry Potter."

Harry slumped farther into his seat. "But… I can't play the guitar. Or sing."

"Have you tried?"

He thought. "No."

Ron laughed. "Then you don't know, you could be brilliant."

"Fat chance."

Ginny, who had just walked in, plopped down next to Harry. "At least you're not some helpless romantic."

Harry grinned. "For me. There's one benefit."

Ron, who could tell when they were about to kiss, stuck a hand in between their faces. "Uh, no snogging when Ron's around."

"Hey Draco! Come here!" Hermione called when she saw Draco enter the room. He walked over.

"Yeah?"

"You excited?" she teased.

"Actually, yes!" He put on a smile that looked pained.

Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione all put on a 'huh?' face.

Draco sighed and sat down. "If I can act cheery all day, there's no way she'll cast me as Draco for the play."

Hermione laughed. "There's no way. Who else could play you?"

Draco grinned. "I got Goyle to do it." He waved a hand, and Goyle came lumbering over. He was dressed in some enlarged designer robes of Draco's, and his hair was actually combed.

Ron studied him. "Nope… it's not going to work. He's not ugly enough to play you, Malfoy."

"Shove it, Weasel."

Ron was about to retort when Professor Merridew entered. The entire room fell silent.

"Hello!" she sang, running up the stairs to the stage. "Welcome to auditions!"

The class stared blankly.

"Well, this year we are going to be doing a humorous theatre version of what has happened over the course of the past seven years. The Triwizard Tournament, the Chamber of Secrets, the dementors, the war, pretty much everything Mr Potter has written in his books. The idea has sprung from an online parody of the books," she explained. "The parts will be as follows: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Cho Chang, Neville Longbottom, Lavender Brown, Pansy Parkinson, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Gregory Goyle, Cedric Diggory, Professor Quirrell, and Lord Voldemort. Everyone whose name was called automatically has their part, and anyone who didn't gets a different part, will be an extra, or will be themselves."

Harry, Ginny, and Draco groaned.

Professor Merridew checked her clipboard. "So first up is… Mr Potter."

Harry frowned. "I thought you said we automatically get our part?"

"Well, we have so much time and so little to do, so I'm just going to have you audition anyway, to fill up the time."

"_What_?"

"It's either this or double potions."

Harry sighed, but trudged up the stairs anyway.

"Now, Mr Potter, can you sing?" There were a few sniggers from the audience.

"Er…" Harry said. "I've never exactly tried, see, defeating Voldemort took up most of my time."

Merridew gave him a look. "Why don't you try this: _Underneath these stairs_…"

Harry looked highly embarrassed. "Underneath… these stairs?"

"No, no, sing it."

"Under_neath_ _these stairs_…"

Professer Merridew nodded approvingly, despite the fact he had only sung two and a half words. "Now say this: _Supermegafoxyawesomehot_."

Harry grimaced as Seamus and Dean roared in a corner. "Supermegafoxyawesomehot."

"Perfect!" Merridew gave a little jump. "You've got the part!"

Harry quickly scampered off the stage and back to his seat, where he sat down, crossed his arms, and blushed furiously.

"Next are Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger."

The two clambered up the stage.

"Okay, can I have both of you sing _totally awesome_?"

Ron coughed, and looked at Hermione, who shrugged. "_Totally awesome_."

There were a couple raised eyebrows. She wasn't that bad.

Ron bit his lip. "Totally awesome?"

Merridew cocked her head. "Can I see you eat a bag of chips?"

"A… bag of chips?"

"Here- Accio Chips!" A bag of chips came flying from backstage. She tossed them at Ron, who frowned at the "Low Calorie/Sodium" label. "Okay, now eat those while saying 'Omigod Hermione, shut up'."

"Shouldn't be hard, he does that every night at dinner," Hermione said.

Ron glared as he opened the bag of chips. Slowly, he brought one to his lips. "Omigod, Hermione, shut up."

Merridew frowned a little, but let it pass. "Okay, Hermione, I'm going to have someone insult you, and you need to keep a straight face. So… Ron, read this." She handed Ron a slip of paper. He laughed when he read it.

"Hermione, you are such a bushy-haired, lopsided, disfigured, potato-faced freak of nature."

"Excuse me?" Hermione said, putting both her hands on her hips.

"Er… we'll work on it," Merridew said. "You're done." The two quickly ran off. "Next, Draco Malfoy."

Draco climbed up.

"Okay, so first, I need you to say Pigfarts."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Pigfarts."

"No, no, Pigf_a_rts."

"Pigfaaaarts?"

"No- Pigf_ah_rts."

"Pigf_aah_rts."

"Perfect, perfect! Now we know you can sing, so… roll on the floor."

"Excuse me?" Draco said, in perfect imitation of Hermione.

"I need you to roll on the floor."

"I really don't think I can-"

"Here; just lay down first." Merridew insisted. She pointed at the floor.

Draco gave the dirty stage a disgusted look, glared at Harry and Ron, who were laughing, but laid down in a squatting position anyway.

"No, all the way down."

Draco wrinkled his nose, but flopped down all the way.

"Now roll."

Draco flipped over onto his back.

"Oh, my sides are hurting now," Harry said through his laughter. Ron wiped his eye. "I think I'm tearing up!"

"No, Mr Malfoy, you have to roll. Roll, flop, stumble. It's funny, trust me." Merridew said.

Draco flipped again, then stood up. "Listen, Professor, I honestly can't-"

"Mr Malfoy, you need to roll on the floor. If you want to pass, you need to roll," Merridew insisted.

"Fine! Fine! You want me to roll?" Draco fell onto the ground, and flipped around. He got up, stumbled over to some benches on the side of the stage, climbed to the top, and rolled off of them. Then he stood up, and took a bow. "I rolled."

Then he walked off the stage, ignoring everyone's laughter, over to Hermione, who patted his shoulder with shaking-with-giggles hands. "That was really good. I don't think I could have rolled so well."

Draco just sniffed.

Merridew waited a good four minutes for everyone to finish. "Okay, I think we're done with that… let's see," she checked her clipboard. "Does anyone want to volunteer to play Professor Dumbledore?"

Only a few half-hearted hands were raised- no one wanted to be put under such public humiliation as Draco.

"Alright, Mr Finnigan, come up here. Great, you're not a Hufflepuff!" Merridew said. "Okay- now- smile."

Seamus smiled wide. "You've got the part!" Professor Merridew said. "Congratulations."

Seamus shrugged, and hopped off the stage.

"Now for… Professor Snape. What about you, Mr Zabini?"

Blaise looked like a deer caught in headlights. "I-er-don't really-"

"Nonsense, get up here!" Merridew insisted. "You're perfect."

Blaise sighed and walked up to the top of the stage. "So what embarrassing act am I going to have to do to ruin my public image for life?"

"I need you to deepen your voice, make it almost hoarse. Now open your arms like a bat." Merridew demonstrated, and Blaise half-heartedly imitated her.

"Great, now say this: '_What the devil is going on here_?'"

Blaise nodded exasperatedly. "What the devil is going on here?"

"It'll have to do. We'll work on it," Merridew said. "Miss Weasley! You're up next!"

Ginny looked at Harry for a supporting look, then trudged up the stairs.

"Do you own yellow ballet flats?" Merridew asked.

Ginny looked confused. "No… but I suppose I could buy some…"

"Great! Now, can you sing?"

"I've never really tried."

"Well, you can try now."

"Um… what do I sing?"

"Try this," Merridew gave her a sheet of paper. Ginny studied it, and her face turned white.

"Do I have to?" Ginny asked in the voice of a five-year-old who had been told to clean her room.

"Yes, Miss Weasley, you have to."

Ginny sighed and looked at the paper. Slowly, she looked up and opened her mouth.

"_The way his hair falls in his eyes, makes me wonder if he'll, ever see through my disguise, and I'm under his spell,_" she started out very quiet voice, and slowly got louder. "_Everything is falling, but I don't know where to land. Everyone knows who he is, but they don't know who I am. Haaaaarry, Haaaaarry, Why can't you see? What you're doing to me…_" she trailed off quietly.

The entire theatre was quiet. Everyone was staring at her. Ginny looked at Merridew, then back at everyone. Was she that bad?

Then the clapping began. There were whistles and cat-calls and cheers. Ginny broke into a wide smile. Merridew was beaming. "That was wonderful, Ginny, you have quite a voice."

"Um… thanks?"

"Of course, of course… well, that settles it, you've got the part."

Ginny sighed and ran off the stage, back to a very bewildered looking Harry. "That was really good, Gin."

"Yeah…" Ginny said. "I had no idea I could do that."

"Maybe you could be Draco's voice coach," Hermione suggested. Draco shook his head furiously.

"No thanks, I'm good."

Harry put his head back in his hands again. "I just can't get over the fact I have to learn how to play guitar."

"Hey…" Hermione said slowly. "I have an idea."

"This ought to be good," Ron muttered.

"Why don't you teach Harry guitar, Draco, since you can play?"

Ron grinned. "Called it!"

Both Harry and Draco gave Hermione a look like she had gone insane. "How about no?"

"Come on, Draco," Hermione insisted. "It's good male bonding time."

Harry groaned. "You did not just use that term."

"I did, and I think that-"

"Okay!" Professor Merridew said, interrupting Hermione. "I have concluded that we no longer have any time for more auditions, so Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle, and Neville Longbottom will all be playing themselves."

She looked down at her clipboard again. "Just before you leave, however, I have a couple things to tell you all. There will be singing and some dancing in the production, and don't you dare try to get out of it. Some things from the musical will be cut due to mature content. Your homework for the night is to watch what you can of the musical," She looked over it all one more time and nodded. "Okay, you can go."

Everyone got up when she called out again. "Oh, wait! I forgot! I think you all should know which couples we'll be doing in this, so all awkwardness can be settled before rehearsals and such. We'll be having Harry/Ginny/Cho, Ron/Hermione/Draco, Draco/Hermione/Pansy, Cho/Harry/Cedric, some slight Dumbledore/Snape and some slight Voldemort/Quirrell. That's all."

Everyone took a moment for this to sink in.

Half the room was in laughter, and the other half was near tears.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N- Yup… that's it… nothing more to say…

Okay so here's the thing: I'm 90% sure I want to include some AVPS in here, but I want to know your opinion. Tell me: do you want AVPS? How much should I put in there? How do you prefer I include it in there?

I have ideas of course, but I would love to hear yours as well.

Oh, one last thing to mention. I am currently going through a severe case of post-Potter depression. Why? I've read all the books more times than I can count, seen all the movies, watched AVPM and AVPS how-many-times, downloaded their whole soundtrack(s) onto my iPod, listened to nearly every episode of Mugglecast, and I've even resorted to watching fangirl videos on YouTube. I need help. The last part of the fandom left for me is FanFiction, so all of you give me your moral support. Or give me new places I can go… I'm sure there's somewhere out there I haven't visited yet!

Thank you all!

~Potato


	6. Emotionally Disturbed

A/N- Hello everybody! Interesting AN at the bottom. :) Thanks for all the reviews!

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter, the Internet, A Very Potter Musical OR A Very Potter Sequel. Thank you.

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Chapter Six- Emotionally Disturbed

Hermione walked out of the theatre with Draco, a sympathetic hand on his sagging shoulder. They were about to turn the corner to their dorm when a loud cry came from behind them.

"Draaaaaco!"

Draco groaned. "Not now, Pansy."

"But-"

"_Not now_."

"I-"

Hermione spun around. "Sod off, Parkinson."

Pansy looked indignant. She put a hand on her hip and pouted, one fat and overly lipsticked lip sticking out. "I have to speak to Draco. Now."

"May I ask why?"

"We have to practice being in love. Merridew says so, for the play."

Hermione shook her head. "It's Draco and I, not you."

"No, it's Draco and me."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

Draco sighed. "This is going nowhere."

"Well, tell her you're not dating her!" Pansy and Hermione cried at the same time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Ginny trailed out of the theater alone; she had lost Ron and Harry in the crowd. But a moment later, Blaise appeared behind her. "Hey Ginny, could I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure," Ginny maneuvered her book bag in order to fit between the large crowd of students. "What about?"

"Well, you know how we got Draco and Hermione together? And just look at them, they're perfect for each other," he gestured at the pair, conveniently ignoring the fact they were in the middle of a heated argument with Pansy, "So I was just thinking… if we did it for them, then think of what we could do for this whole school."

Ginny looked at him warily. "Are you suggesting… some sort of Hogwarts dating service?"

Blaise shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows. "I've found a talent in matchmaking, and let's face it- I'm a Slytherin. We're always looking of new ways to make money."

Ginny thought about it. "I know I'm going to regret this in a few week's time, but what's life without a little fun? Besides, the twins taught me a great way to duplicate fliers."

Blaise grinned. "I like the way you think."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Harry looked at the little boy pleadingly. "Please tell me you play guitar."

The second year nearly trembled in fear. "I… I'm sorry Harry Potter… I… I don't play guitar."

Ron leaned over to Harry. "I really think you're starting to creep people out now."

"Why is it that the only person in this entire school who knows how to play guitar is _Draco Malfoy_?" Harry complained. The second year saw this as a chance to escape and scampered away. "I'm going to be stuck with lessons with him!"

"Well, isn't there a charm or something?" Ron offered.

"Hermione would've already told me if there was one," Harry said. "Besides, who wastes their time making up spells like that?"

Ron shrugged. "The same person who made up the Bat-Bogey Hex. Honestly, it turns boogers into bats. Random much?"

Harry shook his head. "I will die if I have to take lessons from Malfoy. Die. _Die I tell you_!"

Ron looked at him suspiciously. "Are you okay?"

"No!"

Ron nodded slowly. "Why don't we just go back to Gryffindor tower… I'll make some tea and we can talk about different ways to murder Slytherins."

Harry breathed in, then out. "Okay."

Ron led the way out, wondering to himself where he could get some pills for his friend, because he obviously wasn't quite right in the head.

As they entered the Gryffindor tower, Harry headed upstairs to the boy's dorms to change into some Muggle clothes (it was their free period) and Ron spotted his sister and Blaise sitting together on the couches.

"Whatcha doing?"

Ginny quickly covered up the sketchpad she had on her lap. "Homework."

Blaise took his wand and whispered a spell out of the corner of his mouth. Ginny watched as the advertisement she was previously drafting was transformed into a potions essay.

"Oh," said Ron. "Why's he here?"

Blaise leaned back. "Because Draco's off doing who-knows-what with Hermione, Pansy is having a tantrum, Goyle's too stupid to uphold a conversation with, Luna's writing a Quibbler article for her dad, and Ginny wanted company while she did her homework."

"Nice to know I'm a last resort," Ginny said.

Ron frowned. "Well don't get too friendly with her, Zabini."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I have Harry. Speaking of that boy… where is he?"

Ron laughed and sat down. "He's having a slight emotional breakdown over the fact he's learning guitar from Malfoy. He's upstairs changing right now."

Ginny laughed. Slowly though, her laughs died down and she put on a thoughtful expression. "Guitar lessons… Hey…" she said slowly. "We're doing a musical, right?" Ron nodded. "And we all just learned I can sing, right?" He nodded again. "You reckon I could _charge_ people to teach them how to sing?"

This time Ron sent an accusing glance at Blaise. "I _told _Hermione that when she brought Malfoy into our little group of 'acquaintances', it would just mean _bad Slytherin influences on us all!_"

Blaise looked at him thoughtfully. "You said Potter's the one having the emotional breakdowns?"

Harry, who had just appeared at the foot of the stairs and only heard Blaise's statement, threw his hands up. "I _am_ emotionally stable!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hermione was busy on her laptop, typing up a study guide for her charm's test, while Draco poked her in the side every few seconds, a bored expression on his pale face. At the sixty-seventh poke, Hermione lost it. "_Why _do you insist upon _poking_ me?"

Draco withdrew his weapon. "Because I know if I do it enough, you'll actually pay attention to me."

"I'm doing homework."

"Well stop."

"I can't just stop doing homework."

"_Right_… I forgot… you're Hermione Granger," Draco slapped his forehead. "You never learned how to have fun."

Hermione turned and glared at him. "I know how to have fun."

Draco wiggled his eyebrows. "Want to have fun?"

"No! Now go practice rolling or something."

"Granger, Granger, Granger… you never learn, do you?" Draco leaned over, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her out of her seat. Hermione squealed.

"Put me down!"

"Hmm… no, I don't think I will." He leaned over and kissed her. "Now this is much more fun than Charms."

"Draco!"

He leaned over again, his forehead pressed against hers. "No, I don't think I want to date Pansy for this play. We'll have to talk to Merridew about that…"

"Draco, I-"

"Ew!" A loud voice came from the entrance portrait. "I told you watching Ginny write her essay would be smarter than coming over _here_ for entertainment."

Draco sighed and let Hermione go. "Hello, Potter."

Harry clambered inside, followed closely behind by Ron. "Hello Mr and Mrs Malfoy, how are you?"

Hermione gave Harry a 'really?' look. "Well, I _was_ trying to do my Charms homework."

"Stop acting like my interruption was such a tragedy," Draco said.

"Well, I thought I'd come here because in the common room, it seems everyone is currently questioning my emotional stability," Harry said.

Ron, who had picked up a discarded bag of potato chips, received a glare from Hermione. "What? I'm practicing."

"Great," Hermione muttered. "Ron has a reasonable excuse to eat more, and I need to schedule a psychiatrist appointment for Harry."

"What's the matter, Potter?" Draco knocked on Harry's head. "Dating a Weasley finally caught up with you?"

"No… I have to spend an hour every week with _you_," Harry said scathingly.

"What? Why?" Draco suddenly looked distressed. "I did not sign up for that!"

Hermione walked up to both boys and put an arm around their shoulders, bringing their heads down to her level. "You're going to teach Harry guitar, remember?"

Draco wrestled out of her grasp and said simply, "No I'm not."

"No one else in the school knows how," Hermione said. "At least, not as well as you."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Hermione."

"I suppose that if you taught Harry, homework could wait every once and awhile." Hermione grinned.

Draco snarled. "I'm just a tool to you, aren't I?" Looking back and forth between Harry and Hermione, he sighed. "Fine, I'll do it."

"Great!" said Hermione.

Harry grumbled. "He's paying for my therapy post-lessons."

Hermione shook her head. "Stop whining, you sound like Ron that one day they forgot to serve dessert after dinner."

"Omigod, Hermione, shut up!" Ron said from the corner of the room, the potato chip bag held tightly in his grasp.

Hermione glared.

"What?" Ron asked innocently. "I'm just practicing!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The next morning, as everyone got up to spend yet another day waving wands around and brewing toxic liquids, at least one student noticed a particularly large and bright flier overlapping all the others on their house billboard. Slowly, a small crowd had gathered around it.

**Tired of being single? Want to find that perfect person for you? **

**Then screw those dating sites, we have the solution for you! From the masterminds behind several of the most successful couples at Hogwarts today bring you a new service of matchmaking. **

**Blaise Zabini (8****th**** year Slytherin) and Ginny Weasley (7****th**** year Gryffindor) are the new resident Hogwarts matchmakers, and we promise you that you **_**won't**_** regret coming to us! **

**To apply for our services, simply tap your wand on the green 'Yes' checkbox below, and an application form will appear. Fill this out and turn it in to one of the aforementioned names. **

_We do not promise any completely long-term and 100% successful relationships as an outcome of our services. Any injuries, mental or physical, resulting in the outcome of our matchmaking is not at the fault of our business. Our services are not available to any first or second years, or any professor of any kind. Please keep in mind that we are not perfect and are subject to making mistakes in our matchmaking. We do not cover death, injury, emotional disturbances, detentions, stalking, or curses caused by our matchmaking. Thank you and have a nice day. _

"Are they serious?" one small girl in Ravenclaw asked. "Is this a joke?"

Luna floated over. "Oh, is that was Blaise was talking about? How funny…"

Ginny woke up that morning with a large piece of paper two inches from her face, quivering. She craned her neck around it to find Ron (of course) dangling it at her. "WHAT THE RUDDY HELL IS THIS?"

Ginny shrugged. "A quick buck."

"I swear!" Ron threw the dating flier on the ground. "You are unbelievable!"

Harry appeared behind him. "I dunno, I think it's rather funny. I suppose you'll be having a little too much fun with this one, aren't you Ginny? You should give Goyle to a third-year. That'd be a sight…"

Ginny laughed. "I didn't think of that, but now that you mention it…"

"No! You're quitting this now!" Ron said. "I won't allow you to do it!"

Ginny rolled her eyes and got out of bed, bumping her shoulder into Ron as she walked past him to her trunk. "You're just jealous because you don't get the money." She pulled out some robes. "Wait a moment… how'd you two get in here? Boys aren't allowed in the girl's dorms."

Harry shrugged. "They make exceptions for the Boy-Who-Lived."

Ginny laughed. "Or you got Lavender to take you up."

"Yes, well, either way you're not going to do this," Ron said.

"Have fun stopping me, Ron, I'm not twelve anymore."

"But- but- arrgh!" Ron stomped on the flier once more and ran out of the room.

Harry whistled. "Somebody needs to relax."

"Just wait until he's had breakfast, he'll be fine."

Harry chuckled as he picked up the crumpled flier and smoothed it out. "So you're serious about this?"

"Kind of. Blaise said he wanted to…"

"Why's he helping you anyway? I had no idea the two of you…"

Ginny shrugged. "We're just friends, is all. And he offered to help me."

"Oh. Okay then," Harry made his way to the exit of the dorm. "See you at breakfast then."

"Okay."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Draco yawned as he fixed his silver and green tie in front of the dorm mirror. Glancing behind him, he found Hermione on her laptop, not even dressed "Are you coming down to breakfast?"

Hermione shook her head. "Never got to finish my homework last night."

Draco grinned. "Oh… well, see you later then."

"Hm. Oh, I heard something about Ginny and Blaise starting a dating service. You might want to ask him about that."

"Okay, I'll do that." He swung the portrait open and left the dorm.

Hermione turned back to her computer and worked for the next twenty minutes on her study guide, until she bored herself. Deciding to take a small break, she went to, of course, YouTube. "Might as well finish off that musical, get to know my character better." She clicked on the search bar and typed in '_Hermione From A Very Potter Musical_'. She had only scrolled down a couple videos when something caught her eye. And surprised her very much.

"_A Very Potter Sequel, Act 1, Part 8_" And below that was a still of Draco and herself, with slightly bushier hair.

"A _sequel_?" she said to herself. "They made a _sequel_?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N- Dun dun dun… Overall vote was a nearly unanimous plea of 'Include AVPS! Write in AVPS!" Well, I have heeded your requests dear readers, and for that you shall review. :P

Okay, here's the news: I'm starting a little fic contest! Winner will get a dedicated one-shot by me! Yay! And the author will get a mention in my stor(ies). Here are the requirements:

Ship- Must have some Dramione (duh). Other ships are allowed, no slash please.

Rating- T and below. No smut, no lemons, no limes, no M content whatsoever. Please. Language is okay, but don't go overboard.

Length- Can be any length. One-shot or multi-chapter, I don't care.

Must include **at least three** of the following- ~The phrase "Skipping in a manly way."~ ~Hot chocolate~ ~An argument of some sort~ ~Shocking news~ ~Postal services~ ~the Internet~ ~An obsession with something completely ordinary~ ~A film~ ~Running out of napkins~ ~Shoes~

Other- Can be a songfic. I enjoy stories with other characters included besides the pairing. Hint hint. Keep in mind that a good story (usually oneshots in this case) does not _need_ a make-out session at the end. You may enter a story you've already started as long as you include some of the things listed above in later chapters.

Deadline- All entries must be sent in **completed (if a one-shot)** or **at least with five chapters (if a multi-chapter)** by November 1st. PM me the link. :)

Thank you all! I really hope you enter this, I want some good reads!

~Potato


	7. The Meeting for Unicorns

A/N- I'm sooooorry! I know that it's been like a month now? It's school… But I'm on break now for two weeks so expect more updates starting on Wednesday.

Disclaimer- Please choose one of the following that is fake: a. I have pink lipstick streaks on my face right now. b. I own Harry Potter. c. My friend refuses to give me a title for this chapter as I talk to her right now. If you chose b, you were correct!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Chapter 7- The Meeting for Unicorns

Hermione walked to the Great Hall that morning with a wide grin on her face, humming a tune under her breath. She reached the Gryffindor table and slung her bag under her chair. Draco appeared beside her on her left, and Harry was talking to Ron on her right.

"Well, that was really fast to finish an assignment, even for you," Draco said as he piled some sausages onto his plate.

Hermione shrugged. "I figured I'd just let it be."

"_Let it be_? Hermione Granger isn't going to finish her homework?"

"It's just one assignment." Hermione began to hum again.

Draco let his fork clatter to his plate. "What's _wrong_ with you? And what are you _humming_?"

Hermione instantly shut up. "Nothing."

"What was it?"

"Nothing."

"What were you doing instead of the study guide?" Draco began to sound angry.

"Why do you care?"

"Because you're not acting normally!"

"I am so."

"You didn't finish your _homework_, Hermione."

Harry turned around when he heard this. "Hermione didn't do her homework?"

Hermione blushed. "I-"

"She was doing something and she won't tell me what," Draco said.

"Well, it must've been important if she sacrificed homework time for it," Ron reasoned.

"Won't you just let it be?"

"No," came three consecutive answers.

Hermione sighed. "I was humming a song."

"I gathered that much," Draco said.

"A song that I watched this morning…. On YouTube…."

"We're waiting," said Harry.

"From a musical."

"Oh, so you were learning your song for the play?" Ron said. "Geez, Malfoy, way to overreact." He rolled his eyes and he and Harry went back to talking.

Hermione instantly thanked Merlin for Ron's assumptions and took the opportunity to stuff a pancake into her mouth. She ignored Draco's suspicious stare. "What song was it? You don't have any solos…"

"It was about…" Hermione sighed. She supposed she couldn't keep it from him for too long. "It was about the fact I cannot draw."

Draco squinted. "And that is relevant how, exactly?"

"'Hermione Can't Draw", sung by most of the cast, in a play called 'A Very Potter Sequel'," Hermione said. She bit her lower lip.

"A Very Potter _What_?" Draco practically screamed.

"Sequel, Draco. They made a sequel, and it was just released recently."

Draco made a noise somewhere between excessive spluttering and a sick donkey dying. "WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME?"

Harry looked at him, rejoining the conversation. "Because you're Draco Malfoy, now stop asking stupid questions."

Draco slammed his head onto his book bag and groaned. He banged his head over and over into the backpack.

Ron nodded slowly at the sight. "Hermione, I still cannot, for the love of all that is good, understand why you chose him over me."

Hermione sighed, a slight grin playing her lips as she watched Draco vent. "He can draw."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Ron walked into Transfiguration class right as the bell rang. He scurried to his desk, only to pause when he saw Hermione. He threw his hands up to his eyes protectively and yelled "Aaaah! Night troll!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "So mature."

"You're dating a half-house elf," Ron whispered as he sat down and opened his book to the page written on the chalkboard.

Hermione sighed. "Shut up."

"Does that mean your kids will be ¼ house elf?"

"Do the math."

"Well, send them over to do my chores someday, okay?"

"Shut _up!"_

"Since they'll be part house elf, and Draco likes to roll on the floor, will they be a bunch of short curly-haired blondes who constantly roll around the house?"

"For Merlin's sake, Ron, shut up!"

Ron did as he was told until the period was halfway over. Hermione was in the middle of summarizing when she heard a faint murmur from behind her.

"_Cuz I am, the coolest girl the whole wide world, I know it but can't show it at all…_"

"Ron?" Hermione asked through gritted teeth.

"Yes?"

"Do you love Harry?"

Ron looked disgusted. "No… well, not in _tha_t way."

"Really though? Because I recall a certain redhead giving him a back massage while acting as a footrest and practically being his #1 fan idol…"

Ron narrowed his eyes. "Yeah? Well at least I can draw."

"Shut up Ron."

"Shut up Hermononinnyown."

Hermione was about to retort when something tiny hit her head. She looked down, and a small crumpled piece of paper was on her desk. She smoothed it out.

_Hi Hermononucleosis! _

_I see Weasley's bothering you. Kick him for me. _

_~Draco_

_PS- Look on the back. _

She did as it said, and she found a drawing of herself turned around in her desk, yelling at Ron. Underneath was a caption: _Pay special attention to the shading. And don't be insulted- I draw well enough for both of us._

Hermione slowly turned her head, making sure she had her perfect death glare set, and settled her eyes on Draco, who smirked and did a little wave. She turned around again when she heard Ron laughing.

"What?"

Ron had stolen Draco's drawing off her desk. "Love it!"

"Oh, shut up and go… go eat some Red Vines."

"Oh, Herman, you're going to have to come up with so much better if you're hoping to-" Another piece of paper flew across the room, hitting Ron in the head and stopping him mid-sentence. He frowned and unfolded it.

There was an elaborate animated drawing of Ron falling off his broomstick and hitting the ground headfirst. Ron looked across the room at Draco, who was laughing again.

"Mr Malfoy?" Draco stopped laughing abruptly when Professor McGonagall called his name. "What's so funny?"

Draco turned red. "I… er…"

Ron decided to take advantage of the situation. "This, Professor-" He held out a freckled arm, giving the teacher Draco's drawing.

McGonagall looked at it with an expression of amusement and exasperation. "Well Mr Malfoy, although the quality of this artwork is quite exceptional," Draco beamed, "I don't find it relevant to the assignment that you were supposed to be completing. So you can finish that assignment now… or I might just find that the best punishment for this misdemeanor is to take one lazy day and show all of my classes that play Professor Merridew recommended to me. I _do_ recall her telling me that it was you, Mr Malfoy, who had the most embarrassing part."

The class sprinkled with titters. Draco turned red. "I think I'll just finish the assignment."

"That would be nice."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Ginny was sitting on her bunk bed, reading a new novel she had purchased during her last trip to Hogsmeade, when she heard some apprehensive shuffling from the doorway to the dorm. She peered up from the brim of her book to see some nervous 4th or 5th- year girls pushing each other in the doorway. One girl's face was bright red. The others were insistently shoving her in.

"Can I help you?" Ginny asked slowly.

One blonde girl stepped forward bravely and held out a piece of paper. Ginny recognized it as her and Blaise's flier. "Hi, we came here about this."

The red-faced brunette behind her squeaked as she received a shove from one of her friends behind her and stumbled forward. The blonde grabbed her arm and showed her to Ginny. "This is Olivia."

Ginny set down her book and sat up straight. She looked Olivia up and down. Brown hair, green eyes, freckles, skinny, short. She was decent enough. "Hello Olivia."

Olivia just blushed a deeper tone of red. "Hello…"

The blonde bossily spoke again. "My name's Megan. I'm sorry about her, she's awfully shy. Everyone agreed that your services are just what she needed."

The group behind her nodded vigorously. One girl spoke: "She's hardly ever even spoken to a boy."

Ginny grinned. "Well, Olivia, if you could just fill this out-" She bent down to her trunk at her bedside and pulled out a manilla folder. Out of that came a crisp form. "It's nothing to worry about, just some personal information."

Olivia nodded and took the paper. "Anything else?"

"No…" Ginny thought. "Actually, just one thing- all payments are made in advance."

To: Blaise

From: Ginny

RE: Find someone quick

Well Blaise, I just realized something: it takes two to tango. In other words, we can't set people up unless we have guys _and_ girls. I suppose we should have thought about, maybe even discussed, this earlier. But I sure hope you have some boys ready, because I have girls waiting.

To: Ginny

From: Blaise

RE: No worries

Do you really think we would have trouble finding guys? This is a school full of teen boys who are pretty much desperate. I have a whole waiting list ready for you. Don't worry Weasley, I have your back.

Ginny shut down her laptop. Good- Blaise was getting business on her end. She went back to her novel when the door creaked open. Hermione stuck her head through. "Can I come in?"

Ginny put down the book. "Yeah, sure."

Hermione moved to come in, but shot back like a rubber band. There was an exasperated sigh. "Really, Draco?"

"I'm missing Quidditch practice!" came the whiny reply.

"You brought Draco?" Ginny asked the door.

Hermione poked her head through, this time dragging the reluctant blonde with her. "Hi Ginny, we both needed to talk to you."

"That's fine, I suppose."

Hermione plopped onto a bunk and patted her side, indicating for Draco to follow. "We're here to discuss Pansy."

Draco nodded. "Hermione feels bad for her and thinks I should do something just because she's in my house."

Ginny frowned. "What?"

"Well, you started this whole dating thing, you and Blaise. So we thought you guys could maybe… you know…"

"This is just to get her off of you two's back, isn't it?"

Draco looked at Hermione exasperatedly. "Told you she'd know."

Hermione sighed. "She's so annoying, Gin, she's convinced she belongs with Draco."

"Well, just name one person in this school who would go out with her! Not a Ravenclaw, she's too stupid. No Hufflepuffs, she wouldn't stoop that law. And I heard from Blaise that no Slytherin guy can stand her. That leaves Gryffindor, and…" Ginny trailed off.

Draco looked at Hermione and raised his finger slowly. She cocked her head. "You don't think…"

"I don't know…"

Ginny looked back and forth between them and frowned. "Who are we talking abou-" Then it dawned on her and she grinned. "Oh... That could work…"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N- I decided to end it there so you can guess who it was! It's kind of obvious… unless, of course, I change my mind.

UPDATES- Check out my profile, I have posted the links to my FictionPress account and my brand spanking new blog that I will be posting some of my own updates and some stuff explaining certain things in my fanfics. So go! Click away!

I want you to review differently today. Say "black nail polish" if you really liked this chapter, "gold .5 lead" if you liked it, "lipstick on balloons" if it was okay, or "old flip phone" if it sucked. And then after that, address these two things:

My friend at school said that British people and British accents are weird, nerdy, and stuffy. Tell me what you think about that and I'll tell her.

My brother says Harry Potter is lame and for nerds and it sucks. He's read all 7 books (after I forced him) and does not appreciate their awesomeness and all the work JK put into the plot and everything. Tell me what you have to say about that.

So that's it. Thanks!

~Potato


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